Sister
by LorMes or LAM
Summary: Bobby has to take care of some very personal business. Lewis is the only other person who knows what it is all about. Bobby struggles with wether or not to tell Alex about it. Rated T for more adult content later. Not Canon to Show. B/A with Lewis Too
1. The Anniversary Dawn

DISCLAIMER : Law and Order Criminal Intent and the main characters here in are the sole property of Dick Wolf and NBC. I am only borrowing them for my story. I am not making any profit from this story. The subject within is not canon for the show, Just a what if situation.The song lyrics are from the song " SISTER " by Dave Matthews. Great song and the inspiration for this fic. Any feedback please feel free to do it. Us writers thrive off of it. Thanks.

SISTER

by

Dave Matthews

passing time with you in mind

its another quiet night

feel the ground against my back

countin the stars against the black

thinkin bout another day

wishin I was far away

where ever I dreamed I was

you were there with me

sister, I hear you laugh

my heart fills full of

keep me please

sister, and when you cry

I feel your tears

runnin down my face

sister, sister, keep me

I hope you always know its true

that I would never make it through

cause you could make the sun go dark

just by walkin away

playin like we used to play

like it would never go away

I feel you beatin in my chest

Ild be dead without

sister, I hear you laugh

my heart fills full of

keep me please

sister and when you cry

I feel your tears

runnin down my face

sister, sister, keep me

I hope you always know its true

cause I could never make it through

you could make the heavens fall

just by walkin away

sister I hear you laugh

my heart fills full of

keep me please

sister and when you cry

I feel your tears

runnin down my face

sister, sister, keep me

SISTER

by LorMes or LAM

Thursday Feb. 21st 2008

3:54 pm

CHAPTER 1

The Anniversary Dawn

He woke up around 9 am. Moved quietly towards the bathroom. He stepped over towards the shower and reached in. Feeling for the hot and cold water taps, he found them and turned them on. His fingers danced around the water until he felt that it was beginning to warm up. Once he noticed the change in temperature, he removed his hand and closed the shower door. He moved over to the sink area and looked up into the mirror. Turning on the cold water, he placed his hand under it and brought some of it up to his face. Nothing like a little cold water splash to wake a person up in the morning. After shutting down the water he began to undress. Standing completely naked now, he moved over to the shower and got in. This was going to be a long hard day. It always has been. In all if his 46 years, for the last 37 years, he never missed the anniversary. And it never got any easier.

He stepped into the shower and let the warm water soak into his skin. Not quite as hot as maybe he wanted it to be, so he let up on the cold water. A few minutes longer. There. His Muscles eased as the now hot water began running down his naked form. Roughly 10 minutes later he emerged from the shower refreshed and clean, but nonetheless still with a heart full of sadness. Inside his bedroom, he went over to where he had laid out his clothes for today and began the incredibly mundane task of getting dressed. The strong aroma of coffee had hit his nostrils letting him know that his automatic coffee maker had completed its task for the morning.

Underwear, black socks, black t-shirt, black long sleeve dress shirt, black dress slacks and black belt, black jacket and the same tie held worn every year in her favorite color, lavender. . He stood in front of his standing mirror and tied it precisely. The last thing was a splash of cologne. With almost everything done, he grabbed his long wool winter coat, scarf, and his gloves and went into his kitchen. He laid those items down on the back of his sofa and went into his kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee. Black this morning and extra strong no milk just sugar. He had called his job to let them know that he wouldnt be in today but that he would be there ready to go tomorrow. His partner would be okay for one day without him. Besides this is the most personal thing he does all year, and the only one besides him who knows what its about is Lewis. Jogging him from his thoughts was the ring of his cell phone. He opened it up. Yep, it was Lewis.

He answered it.

" Hey. " he said quietly.

" Morning Bobby. You on your way ? " he asked

" Just grabbing some coffee. Ill be there soon. "

" Okay. Be careful, roads are bad. "

Bobby smiled and told him not to worry.

They hung up the phones and he resumed drinking his coffee.

There was another ring. When he looked to see who it was, he saw it was his partner.

" _Not today Eames. Youll just have to wait._ " he thought to himself as he slipped the phone into his jacket pocket.

Before he left, he cleaned everything up and left his apartment as spotless as it always is.

On his way out he put on his wool coat , gloves and short scarf. Once outside his apartment, he turned, locked the door and headed downstairs to his car. One stop to make before he picked up Lewis.

He drove for about three miles. There on the corner was a small flower shop. Ever since he moved to the city, he always used them. They knew just how to put together what he wanted. He found a parking space and got out. As he entered the shop, a small italian woman walked over to him.

" You look hadsome today Robert. As always. We have your order ready Ill go and get it for you. "

" Thank you Mrs. Antonnossi. " he said as he got out his wallet."

Mr. Antonnossi quickly looked over to Bobby and gave him a small smile. He appreciated Bobbys good manners.

As she rounded the corner a few minutes later, he found himself momentarily stunned. Even though the arrangement never changes, it still brings tears to his eyes every time he sees it.

A beautiful bouquet of white mini carnations for rememberence, forget me nots to remember her forever, orchids for her delicate beauty and white sweetheart roses for her purity. 7 of each equally, with a single white tulip in the center to ask for her forgiveness. There were seven peices of bubble gum wrapped into the arrangement and a small colorful satin butterfly too. The bouquet was wrapped up nicely in purple and clear cellophane with white and lavender ribbon.

As the woman went to hand the bouquet to him she simply stated that whoever was receiving this must have been very special to him. He nodded. He never gave out details. This was way too personal.

He took the bouquet and gave her his card. Once everything was bought and paid for, He thanked her again and left.

He delicately placed the arrangement in the back of the SUV and closed the back. Moving up to the drivers door, He opened it , got in and headed for Lewiss.

Lewis had already been outside waiting.. He was never late for this day. He never wanted to be. He had promised Bobby a long time ago that he would always be there for him and held be damned if he wasnt going to keep up his promise.

As Bobby pulled up in the SUV, Lewis walked over " Hey Bobby. Can you open the back ? " he asked.

" Sure Lewis. " Bobby said. He pushed a button from inside of the SUV that opened up the back and Lewis went over and slipped his yearly arrangement in alongside of Bobbys.

Then Lewis shut the back , rounded to the front of the SUV and got in. " Nice arrangement. It always is man. " he said.

Before he pulled away from the curb, Bobby turned and faced Lewis.

" Ah, Thanks buddy. Thanks for doing this with me. " he said.

Lewis looked over at Bobby and shook his hand. " No thanks ...remember? Thats what brothers are supposed to do man. " he said.

" Yeah I know. " Bobby answered. " But my mom ...when she was lucid, told me that I should always thank those who help me. "

Lewis looked and smiled. " Just drive okay. we got a long day ahead of us."

Bobby laughed and turned. Placing his big hands on the steering wheel, he signaled , pulled out into traffic and the two men proceeded on to their destination.


	2. The Visit

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and order or the characters. They all belong to you know who. I am not making any profit, only writing for pure enjoyment. Also p[lease remember that this is not within the accepted canon of the episode. I was just doing a what if situation that struck while I was listening to Dave Matthews song " Sister " Please send feedback. Should I continue on with this ?

SISTER

by

LorMes or LAM

CHAPTER 2

The Visit

Driving on to their destination yeilded no real conversation. As they drove through the city, they made their way to the outskirts of Brooklyn. The roads started to get a bit longer. Black wrought iron fences lined both sides of the road and the place where they would end up. The entrance was beautifully esconced with two huge angels on either side of the large wrought iron gateway. Bobby made a left hand turn through the gate and he followed the same road he had become incredibly familiar with over the last 37 years. Its winding path with Wisteria and Maple trees lining the path. Finally Bobby reached the place and pulled the black SUV up onto the side of the road. Puttung the SUV into park, he just sat for a minute and gathered his thoughts. Lewis being the friend he is to Bobby sat in silence until his friend was ready.

Bobby loved this place. It was the perfect resting place for her. He remembered how 20 years ago he had asked the staff is he could plant a weeping willow tree by where she was laid to rest. They had said yes and now 20 years later, it had grown into a fine specimen. He knew she would have loved it. He shut down the engine and placed the keys into his coat pocket. Then proceeded to look over to Lewis. " You ready ? " he asked.

" Dont you think I should be asking you that ? " Lewis replied. He continued as he placed his hand on Bobbys shoulder. " Come on Bobby. Shes waiting. " he said.

When Bobby looked up at Lewis, Lewis could see that he was trying not to cry. But they had been here and done this enough times to know that in each others company, crying was acceptable. Especially in this particular situation.

Both men opened up their respective doors and got out. They walked to the back of the SUV and Bobby opened it up. Each man took his respective arrangement and Bobby closed up the vehicle.

As they walked in silence as was their custom, Bobby could swear that he could hear her voice stirring in the gentle breeze. As the breeze hit his nostrils he breathed it in as if to soak in her presence.

The site as always is nicely looked after and when he gets close he and Lewis stop just slow up and come to a gentle halt. Both men are amazed at how this never seems to get any easier. They glance down at the pure white headstone and read the inscription:

ANGELA FRANCES GOREN

JANUARY 10TH 1964 TO FEBRUARY 21ST 1971

HER MOTHERS BEAUTIFUL GIRL

BELOVED SISTER AND FRIEND

MATTHEW 19:14 BUT JESUS SAID , SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN,

AND FORBID THEM NOT, TO COME UNTO ME, FOR SUCH IS THE KINGDOM

OF HEAVEN

Lewis approached the gravesite first and laid the blanket down over the site. Then he backed away and bowed his head.He said a small prayer and looked up to Bobby. " Ill be back over by the SUV if you need me. Okay ? "

Bobby told him that he could stay if he wanted to, but Lewis bowed out gracefully. " No man. This is your sister Bobby. Take all the time you need. "

Bobby thanked Lewis once again and watched as he headed back over to where the SUV was parked. Lewis reached the SUV and didnt get in. He never did. He just leaned back into the car and watched his friend. Sort of like a bodygaurd would watch over his charge. Not that Bobby needed protection, But Lewis knew in his heart that Bobby was incredibly vulnerable inside. If Bobby needed him, He wanted to be there as fast as he could.

Now it was Bobbys turn. Never easy. He took small steps up to the new headstone. He had it replaced after his last visit. It sickened him everytime he went there to see the words " Beloved Daughter " written on it. He knew that was his fathers idea. And that made him even madder. So he had a new head stone made up. This was the first time he saw it. And it was beautiful. It wasnt just any headstone. It was an angel standing on a platform where he had the inscription placed. The angels wings were spread open as if it was her gaurdian. Her picture was etched into the stone directly in the center. Bobby never stepped right on the grave. He always approached it from the side. He took the bouquet and placed it at the foot of the angel. The breeze hit him just as he placed it down and he could swear that it was his 7 year old sister welcoming him with Gods kiss. And even though it was cold outside, the breeze that hit him was warm and comforting. Now Bobby wasnt an overly religious man. He was a lapsed alterboy. And he knew all about God. He just chose not to go through all of the rituals and traditions. His beleifs were quite personal.

He stood up and stood a few feet away from but directly in front of her grave.

He cupped his hands into each other and looked directly at the grave.

" Hello Angel. " he said quietly. Angel was his childhood nickname for her.

" Its me. Big brother. I brought my usual bouquet. I know youll like it. I hope you like your new stone. I just had to have it changed. You know why. Please forgive me Angel. I tried to protect you. I just couldnt. "

He got quiet. He lowered his head and realized that tears began to flow like rivers down his cheeks. Lewis had, unbeknownst to Bobby, made his way over to stand directly behind him. " Its just not fair Angel. I miss you so much. I should have done more...you know to help you. ..."

Lewis reached out and brought his hand up on to Bobbys shoulder. " You did what you could man. She knows that. Come on Bobby. Stop being so hard on yourself. She was 7 and you were 9...What else were you supposed to do? Your dad...he was crazy. One thing that you have to hang onto though. "

" Yeah ? Whats that ? " he asked

" Angel...She tried to get back to you. She knew she was safe when she was with you. "

" Yeah. I suppose...But... "

Lewis looked over at him and interupted him. "No buts Bobby...She knew when she was with you...she was safe. Listen, Its really cold out here. Lets say we say our prayers and then we do breakfast...Ill even pay this time. "

Bobby nodded and turned. Then he looked over to her grave once again. He stood quietly, bowed his head, and he and Lewis both offered up their silent prayers. As soon as they were done, Both men made their way over to the SUV , got in and began their ride in search of breakfast.

As Bobby placed the keys into the ignition and pulled away, he rode slowly past his Angels place of rest. He had to stop for a second. He closed his eyes as images from the past clouded his mind. Both equally, good and bad. Angels tears of pain and her cries of releif. He couldnt leave just yet. Bobby Goren and his sister Angela, though she had been dead for 37 years, They were still as inseperable as ever. He rolled the window down and swore once again that he was being enveloped by her spirit. The warm breeze returned and he breathed in, through his nostrils, her sweet 7 year old innocent lavender scent. He could see them playing in the park by their house in Brooklyn.

Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies, ashes ashes, we all fall down.

When Angela died, it was like a peice of him died with her. At 9 years old Bobby Goren had lost his entire family. He was more or less on his own since then.

Yet now at 46 years old, while by his sisters graveside, Even though she is physically dead, he feels her life blood flowing through him.

He lifted his hand to his eyes. wiped the tears onto his fingers and then took his hand and gently shook it outside of the window as if spreading holy water on her grave site.

" Goodbye for now my Angel, Ill see you again soon. " he said.

Then he gave the car a bit more gas and headed once again for the gate.


	3. Forget Me Nots, Orchids and Tulips

Disclaimer: This is being done for entertainment purposes only. No, Law and Order Criminal Intent and Its characters do not belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. This story is not within the accepted canon for the show. It is just a what if situation. Feedback as always is helpful be it good bad or indifferent. So please feel free to leave some. Also, I do not, as yet have a beta reader so please excuse any of my mistakes. I try to check my own work so any mistakes are solely my responsibility. Lori

Also just a quick note. The Stage Deli is a real place in New York City. It is located on 53rd street and 7th avenue. And Billie the waiter is a real person who served us those gigantic sandwiches. And yes, one pound of the ultimate New York pastrami was Twenty Two Dollars a pound. The sandwich was thirteen dollars and it did actually have one pound of pastrami on it. Billie actually recommended that I order an extra sandwich because it would be cheaper. A great waiter and a truly amazing place.

SISTER

by

LorMes or LAM

CHAPTER 3

Forget-Me-Nots, Orchids and Tulips

The SUV was silent for the first part of their return trip until Lewis put an end to the

awkwardness.

" Okay Bobby. Whats goin on in that brain of yours ? " he asked

" Bobby ? " he asked again

" Huh ? " Bobby answered as if coming out of a dream. "

" Lewis looked over to him and repeated " I was just wondering what was goin through that brain of yours. You okay ? "

Bobby looked over to Lewis quickly and then back over onto the road. " Oh you know how it goes. Everytime I go there, everything just floods back. "

Lewis looked straight ahead and said " Yeah ...I know. "

" Hey..." Bobby said " Its pretty close to lunch time. Lets say we forego breakfast. Okay ? "

" Okay. " Lewis said, " but Lunch is still on me. Whatever you want man. "

Bobby knew this great deli on 53rd street in the city. The Stage Deli. So he found a parking garage and dropped off the SUV and the two friends got out and walked over to the deli.

As they entered a familiar face greeted Bobby. his friend Billie. A man as tall as he was with olive toned skin, black hair, longer than shoulder length, tied back into a ponytail. His facial features were proportionate and his eyes were a very deep brown. He wore a typical waiters uniform. Black pants, black shoes with a white shirt and black vest.

" Bobby ! " Billie said as he saw him.

" Hey Billie. How are you ? " Bobby asked.

" Great. What brings you back this way? " he asked...continueing he added " Me ? or the food ? "

Bobby laughed a bit. " As always ...Both. "

" Safe answer as always Bobby and you know it... " Billie said as he tapped Bobby on his right shoulder. " Let me get you your usual table. " he said as he led the two men through the place. " Say...Wheres that pretty partner of yours ? "

" Not today Billie. Had some personal stuff to take care of. "

" Here you go. " Billie said as he watched the two men sit down .

Once Bobby and Lewis got seated, Billie handed them their menus and asked them if he could get them something to drink.

Bobby just wanted coffee and Lewis ordered a pepsi.

Billie said okay and held be back in a minute with their drinks.

" You must come here often. " Lewis said

" Often enough. You just wait and see. Foods great and they give you so much, you cant even finish. Not bad prices either. "

" Hey. I told you. Dont worry about what it costs. "

" Yeah...yeah...I know. " Bobby said.

" You know what you want ? " Lewis asked.

" Yeah. Im gonna get the pastrami on rye with mustard and an order of pickles. How bout you? " he asked

Lewis looked at the menu breifly and put it down. " Hands down. I gotta have the corned beef on rye. "

" Thats a great choice too. I promise you wont be disappointed. " he said.

With that, Billie returned with their drinks. " Here you go guys, One coffee and one pepsi. " he said as he put them down. " So Bobby, whos your friend here? " Billie asked

" This guy ? " Bobby asked pointing over to Lewis. " Ah...This is Lewis. We grew up in Brooklyn together. Lewis, This is Billie." Bobby said

Lewis looked over to Billie and said " Hey. Nice to meet you. "

Billie said the same. " So you two know what you want ? "

Both nodded and Billie took their orders. Then he headed off towards the kitchen.

Bobby prepared his coffee and then Lewis lifted up his pepsi. " Heres to another year. And Angela. " he said

Bobby raised his coffee mug " Angela " he said quietly.

After they both took a sip from their respective drinks, they placed them down onto the table. Lewis looked over to Bobby " Hey listen man, remember, Im here all day. Anything you wanna talk about...You know..."

Bobby smiled. " Yeah I know. Its just so damn hard. Like I said before. Everytime I go there, Everything comes flooding back. "

Lewis nodded his head in agreement.

" You know...It all seems so surreal. Like a dream. " Bobby said. " Its probably the only thing in my life I feel that way about. "

Lewis nodded.

" Everytime I think about her, I think that I should have done more. You know to ...protect her. "

Lewis looked over at Bobby and said " Hey, maybe thats what makes you a great detective. "

" What ? The fact that I let her down. " Bobby said.

" No. Not that you let her down. " Lewis said " You were 9 years old Bobby. And besides you did try tp help her remember? "

" Yeah. Dont remind me. "

" Okay I wont remind you, But I will remind you of this. If things hadnt gone down that night the way they did, You and I would never had gotten as close as we are. And who knows what would have happened. "

Billie returned with their sandwiches and pickle plate. " Okay guys...One corned Beef and one pastrami. Anything else I can get for you two ? " Billie asked.

Bobby said " No thanks. "

" Okay. Ill be around if you need anything else." Billie said and then left.

Lewis looked down at his sandwich. " Man Bobby you werent kidding. I dont think Ive ever seen a sandwich as big as this. There must be what ...a pound at least of corned beef on it. "

" I dont doubt it. " Bobby said with a smile on his face. " Some times I order two sandwiches. Theyre cheaper than buying a pound of the meat. The pastrami is about twenty two bucks a pound. So I eat a sandwich and take the other one home. "

" Wow. I might have to do that. " Lewis said.

The two men quieted down and ate their sandwiches. Billie came back more times than he needed to to ask them if they needed anything else, an indication of a good waiter. He re-filled their drinks a few times and soon enough both Bobby and Lewis were full to the bone and done. Billie came along and offered them the check which Lewis promptly took. As Bobby had said earlier, he ordered another sandwich to go. Lewis knew he would use it for his dinner later on. Bobby said his goodbyes to Billie who proceeded to tell him that the next time he came back, he better bring Alex. Bobby laughed and as soon as Lewis paid the bill, they walked over to the parking garage, got into the SUV and headed back over to his apartment.

Bobby parked the SUV in his usual place and asked Lewis if he was going to come up for a while.

As usual, Lewis said yes.

As they entered his apartment, They shed their coats and Bobby went into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and placed his pastrami sandwich inside. Then he retreived two beer.

Lewis was inside sitting on the couch already. He heard Bobby inside " I got you a beer okay ? "

Lewis answered him back with a resounding yes.

Bobby came inside and placed the beer on the coffee table in front of him and stood back up. He loosened the tie from around his neck and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt.

" Well, That just took everything outta me. How bout you ? " he asked his friend.

Lewis took a drink from the bottle and nodded his head in agreement.

Bobby sat down.

Lewis looked over at Bobby. Out of the blue he asked him " Hey ? You ever wonder what sheld look like now? "

Bobby looked over at him. " You know , I never thought of that Lewis. I dont think I can ever see her as anything other than being seven years old. " he said

Lewis looked over at him and saw him start to tear up.

" You know, I think I could have killed him and not felt sorry about it. What he did to her. "

Lewis looked over to him and re-iterated " You see, Thats why I think you make a great detective Bobby. You saw her pain. You were always good at putting yourself in other peoples shoes."

" Yeah, but why her ? Why Angel ? 37 years later, I still dont understand. She was so young, so beautiful. I wish there was some way to know that she forgives me. " he said

Lewis looked over at his friend. He spoke quietly " Forgives you ? Forgives you for what man ? Bobby..."

Bobby interupted " Listen, Ill let you in on something. Okay ? When she would cry, sheld cry so hard sometimes that Ild swear, Ild feel her tears running down my face and into my chest. We were one in the same...you know ? "

Lewis knew and understood. " Like us ? " he asked

" Huh ? " Bobby asked

" Like us. I said. Do you remember how hard you cried after she died ? Do you remember how I stayed with you because you didnt want my mom to know how much it hurt? "

Bobby sat still for a moment. His mind a whirlwind as he thought back to right after he found out she died.

" You know ? I think I cried more when the social worker came and took her away from your mom. I remember your mom. She cried as if Angel was her own. They didnt have immediate placement for us so your family took us right in.It was great until the day when they took her away. No-one thinks I heard. The social worker said that she had a better chance of being adopted alone than with me. So they had to seperate us. God Lewis, She screamed for me. All I remember seeing was her face and her tears running so hard down her face. She was holding on to the little angel I gave her for her birthday.And she had her arms out reaching for me. Your mom was crying as she was holding me back. Shit Lewis, I think I hit your mom trying to get at Angel. What the hell was I thinking ? "

" You were thinking about her Bobby, not my mom. You were thinking about how unfair it was that they had to take her. I remember you screaming at the social worker about why she couldnt take you too. It was the system Bobby. It sucked. Still does. " Lewis said

" Yeah and youre right, Angel died that night, because, after she was taken from us, She ran away and tried to get back to me. Thats when that drunk hit her. "

" Bobby, I know this is probably going to hurt, but Im going to say it anyway. I think God was merciful to her. I mean, think about it. The last two years of her life...all the suffering. The beatings and abuse. I mean, even you..."

" Yeah but, why didnt he take me too ? " Bobby asked.

Lewis didnt even bat an eye on that one " Because he knew you had to be here. Youve been there for what ? Hundreds of children? You and detective Alex. And guess what ? Ive watched her...She sees how you work with the children. Your good Bobby. You couldnt fight for Angel, but you fight for those like her everyday. The beautiful ones. You dont forget man, because her memory wont let you. And I think you see her forgiveness everytime you make an arrest. And if you dont ...you should.

Bobby didnt quite know what to say. Lewis was never an articulate man, but in this instance, he made alot of sense.

Bobby sunk back into the couch and drank his beer.

By now, it was nineoclock at night. Both men had had dinner and drank their share of beer and were now passed out in Bobbys living room.

Lewis stirred first and woke up. He looked around and saw Bobby on the couch , but he also saw the mess that his friends apartment had become. He went over to the bathroom and took care of business. Then he came out and cleaned up Bobbys living room and kitchen. He left the two rooms as they were when they entered the apartment earlier in the afternoon. Then before he left, he went into Bobbys closet, and found a blanket. He returned to the livingroom and covered his friend. This had been a hard day as always. Then without another word, he went over, got his coat , and left. As he left, he thought about how lucky he was to have Bobby Goren as a friend and even though they werent blood relatives...a brother.


	4. The Ghost In His Dreams

Disclaimer: Once again the characters Bobby Goren, Alex Eames and Lewis in this story are not mine They are Dick Wolfs masterful brainchildren. Without whom this story would not be possible. I am writing this for entertainment purposes only and I am not making any profit from it. This story is NOT accepted canon for the show. This chapters rating is K because it does contain some infered descriptions of abuse between father and daughter. The entire recollection will not come out though until Bobby actually sits and tells Alex later on. If this sort of thing truly bothers you than I suggest that you do not continue reading. Sorry this chapter is so short but I wanted to get something out to you guys today. Lori

Sister

by

LorMes or LAM

Chapter 4

The Ghost in his dreams

Bobby had moved at some point during the night from where he was on the couch to his bed. In the course of doing that he had found his way to the bathroom and managed to get out of his clothes. Clad only in his underwear and black t-shirt, he found his way over to his bedroom climbed into his bed and drifted back to sleep.

Sleep for Bobby had not come easily over the last few days. He found that he was getting at most about 3 to 4 hours a night. He attributed that to the fact that his sister had been gone for 37 years and the anniversary was coming up. Well, he had taken care of things and was hoping that tonight would yeild him the sleep he needed.

It didnt.

Once he had fallen back asleep, he found himself in complete darkness. And his surroundings were not familiar to him. There was a chill in the air and he kept asking himself where he was. He began to walk in the darkness and with each step he heard faint cries. They would start out softly and then build up until they were so loud they seemed to surround him and then they would whip around him and get softer again.

He heard them again and he found that his heart began to race. He tried to follow the cries but each time he thought he was getting closer to them, they got softer and moved away from him. Then he heard her voice.

" Please daddy, Ill be good...please..."

" Angel ? " Bobby said quietly. " Angel ? Is that you ? "

In the darkness, seemingly miles away, there seemed to be a light glowing from under a door.

Bobby sensed that he shouldnt go to it but he was drawn to it.

A monstorous deep voice spoke " Lay still now. your mommy isnt here so you have to take her place. "

" Please daddy...its hurting. pleas..."

Bobby heard a slap and more cries. Then it got silent. and he could hear the deep monstorous voice. It sounded almost pleasant. Bobby got to where the light was coming through the door and he knew, he shouldnt open it, but he knew Angel was in there.

He reached out slowly and began to turn the door knob. The door opened up a bit and creaked. He looked in and what he saw made him scream.

" NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! " His body was covered in sweat and he was shaking and crying. He said it again This time more quietly " No...No, no, no..." He brought both of his hands up to his face which was now full of his running tears. The sheets on the bed were drenched in his sweat and he knew he wouldnt be going back to sleep anytime soon. He moved over to the edge of the bed and sat with his feet on the floor. He had his elbows forward on his upper thighs and his face was cupped in his hands. " Oh my God Angel...my Angel...Im so sorry, please forgive me. " He repeated that for what seemed forever. Then he got up and paced across his bedroom floor. His saddness was being replaced quickly by anger. Anger at what he knew was the truth. Anger at his memories. He was angry at his sudden understanding . He knew for 39 years what had happened, but knowing and understanding, were two different things. His father had sexually molested, beaten and raped his sister. Repeatedly. For two years of her life. And why ? Because his mother got sick and was put away ? Angel had to take her place ? What the hell was that all about ?

He would change the sheets later. Bobby Goren got up off of his bed, grabbed another blanket from his closet and moved into the living room. He did not go to sleep that night. He cried.

That morning, Bobby got up and showered. He let almost scalding hot water wash down his body. He couldnt get enough of it. He wanted to wash his memories away. He wanted to get rid of the ghost that has haunted him for his whole life. After almost a half an hour , he shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. He got dressed as usual for work. and went into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He finished that and went back into his bedroom. He took the sheets off of the bed and placed them into the hamper and put clean linens on. Then he left to head on over to 1PP.

Bobby was always there about a half an hour before his partner, and he always brought her a coffee and a cheese danish. He placed the coffee and danish on her desk as usual and went over to his desk. He opened his portfolio and started to reveiw their latest case. Captain Ross appeared next off of the elevator and came over to Bobbys desk

" Good morning detective. " he said

" Morning captain. "

" I hope youre feeling better. " Ross said

" I am. " Bobby said as he nodded his head.

He lied.

" Your partner here yet ? " Ross asked.

" Ah No sir she isnt. " Bobby answered.

" Well, when she gets here, you two should come into my office. "

" Anything wrong sir ? " Bobby asked

" No, just want an update thats all. " he said

Bobby nodded and watched as Ross went into his office and shut the door.

About twenty or so minutes later Alex got off of the elevator.

Bobby looked over to her and smiled. She smiled back. He loved her smile. It could heal the most greivous injuries.

" Hey Bobby. Hope youre feeling better. "

He lied once again, hoping against all hope that Alex wouldnt see through it.

Alex was smarter than that. She knew he lied. But sheld ask him about that later on.

She saw the danish and coffee on her desk and thanked him.

" Ah, we gotta go and see Ross. I guess he wants an update. " he said

" Okay, But I think I should update you first ...dont you think ? "

He smiled ..." Yeah, I guess that would be nice. This way, I dont look stupid in there. "

After she updated him on their latest case, then they went in to see Ross. Whatever they said made him happy and they left his office. As the day went on, Alex noticd that Bobby seemed to be a bit distant, almost in a fog.

The day came to a close as the two detectives found themselves at 1PP doing paperwork. Bobby had been unusually quiet that day and it bothered her. So, she had determined that she was going to get to the bottom of it, especially when he didnt refuse to do her paperwork for the day in order to make up for not being there the day before.

Bobby hated paperwork.

So as the day came to a close, she asked him if he wanted to go out for some chinese.

He told her no because he had to do her paperwork.

She laughed and told him, " Not today. Come on Bobby , lets go. "

He reluctantly yeilded to her and they both left 1PP to go and get their chinese.

When they got there, they both placed their orders and then Bobby asked her if they could get it to go. " Im not really in the mood to eat here." he said

" Okay, Then where...your place or mine? " she asked him.

" I guess mine..." he said

" Good..." she said then added " Then you can tell me the real reason why you were out yesterday."

Bobby looked at her.

She had seen right through his lie.

He was in for another long night.


	5. The Struggle

Disclaimer : Law and Order Criminal Intent and its characters do not belong to me...blah...blah...blah...

I am not making any profit from this, blah, blah, blah

Hope you enjoy it. Please leave feedback...

Sister

by

LorMes or LAM

Chapter 5

The Struggle

The chinese food came ready to go and Bobby took the bag as they walked out to the SUV. They both got in and headed for Bobbys apartment. This indeed, was going to be a long night.

As they entered his place, He put the keys on the counter and proceeded to unpack the food and set them up in the kitchen. Alex followed and took off her jacket. She laid it on his sofa and walked into the kitchen.

She was hoping to get to the bottom of things tonight.

Bobby had plates and utensils set out for them. The little white cartons were open and the two sat down to eat.

It was pretty quiet at first. Then Alex put her fork down and spoke

" So ? you gonna tell me about yesterday ? "

Bobby looked over to her. " What about it ? " he asked hoping that she would let it go.

" Bobby come on...you dont actually beleive that I thought you were sick did you ? "

" I wasnt feeling well. So, I took off. Thats all there is to it. " he said.

Now, he hated to lie to her, but he wasnt sure how she would react if he told her about Angela. It was about the only thing he had kept from her. She knew everything else. His mother, his brother, Brady. His idiocincrisies. In fact, she probably knew more about him than he knew about himself, with the exception of Angela of course. He knew that based on that alone, he could trust her. But, he didnt trust anybody except Lewis with the knowledge of Angela and the circumstances surrounding her death.

" Bobby come on. " she said. " Youre as transparent as an empty glass. "

" I said I wasnt feeling well okay ? Please Alex, dont push it. " he asked her

She put down her glass. " Okay. Ill leave it for now. But you should know, if you ever want to talk about it...you know where I am. "

Then she picked up her fork and resumed eating.

The rest of the night was spent discussing their latest case and what direction they were going to go with it.

Bobby still seemed a little distant. She was going to get to the bottom of it. But she wasnt going to get it from Bobby.

At about ten she stretched her arms as she got up off of his couch. " Well, I think I had better get going.

Besides you look like you could fall asleep any minute. "

He smiled. She took her jacket from the back of the sofa, put it on and said goodbye.

" I guess Ill see you on Monday. Ill be here around the same time as always. " she said

Bobby moved over to the door, opened it up and gazed at his partner.

" Ill see you Monday Alex. ...and thanks...thanks for not pushing things tonight. Ill be back to my old self by then...I promise. "

She smiled and left.

Bobby closed the door and headed back into the kitchen. He reached into one of the upper cabinets and found the unopened bottle of scotch. He brought it down and placed it on the counter. He retreived a shot glass from another cabinet and poured himself a nice strong double, straight up. He lifted it up to his lips and in one shot drank it down.

Then he reached over onto the other side of the counter and picked up his cell phone.

He had a call to make.

Lewis was in the shop still. He was working on his latest restoration project. A 1976 Ford Gran Torino.

He was far from being done. He was restoring it back to its Starsky and Hutch beauty.

Right in the middle of opening the stripe kit, his cell phone rang.

He picked it up and opened it. " Bobby ? Whats going on ? is everything okay ? "

" Ah...you busy ? " Bobby asked.

" No. Youre lucky, I might have been tied up in a stripe kit if you had waited a few more minutes. "

" You got it ? " Bobby asked.

" Yeah, I gotta read the instructions though. Looks like theres a bunch to it. Anyway, you okay ? "

" Ah...I have a slight problem. You feel like coming over ? "

" Sure. Need me to pick up anything? " he asked.

" No. I got some leftover chinese here if you want it. And pepsi. I cant come out and pick you up though, I just had a double scotch. "

" Thats okay, Mom let me borrow her car. So, Ill be there in about 40 minutes. Okay? "

" Okay. ...And thanks Lewis. "

" Just promise me something..." Lewis asked

" Whats that ? "

" No more to drink until I get there. I dont want to have to pick up your sorry ass off of the floor. "

" Okay, Ill go and put on some coffee. Besides like I said, I gotta slight problem and I need your advice."

" Okay Ill see you in about 40 minutes. "

Okay bye. " Bobby said and hung up the phone.

Forty minutes later Lewis arrived at Bobbys. Bobby opened up the door and let him in. He took his jacket and hung it up. Then the two men went into the kitchen where Lewis found a nice plate of chinese food and a cold pepsi waiting for him. Bobby, on the other hand , was drinking coffee.

" Hey, look at this. " Lewis said as he pointed to his plate. " Man, Im starving. Havnt had anything since about 2 pm. "

" Really ? " Bobby asked. " What the heck were you doin ? "

Lewis sat down, took a sip of the pepsi and said, " The car man...Working on the car. Its gonna be great when its done Bobby. "

Bobby smiled. " Yeah, I bet it will be. " he said speaking a bit more softly.

Lewis had just finished swallowing the first bite of his chinese food. After he brought a napkin up to his lips and wiped them off, he looked up at Bobby, " So ? What is this slight problem that you need help with? " he asked

Bobby decided that he wasnt going to beat around the bush. " Its Alex, Lewis. She asked me to tell her the real reason why I was out yesterday. "

Lewis looked at his friend and took another bite.

Bobby continued " She saw right through me Lewis ."

Lewis asked him " Does that surprise you Bobby? Thats what makes her a great detective. And being partnered with you for 7 years...She must have gained a new perspective on what to look for when talking to someone. I mean...am I wrong ? "

Bobby shook his head " No...Your not wrong on this. Its just that, I never had to worry about whether or not to tell her. This is Angela we are talking about. Alex doesnt even know she ever existed. "

Lewis thought for a second and took a sip from his pepsi. Then he drew in a deep breath and looked over towards Bobby. " Look man, maybe its time. I mean, look at everything thats gone on between the two of you...especially these past two years. You both have had to trust each other with some pretty personal information...and she never gave you any reason to doubt her ...right ? " he asked.

Bobby nodded.

" She never blew your trust in her right ? "

Bobby looked at him and nodded once again.

"Are you afraid Bobby ? " Lewis asked. " Are you afraid that if you tell her that she might doubt your competancy ? "

Bobby looked at him " Well...I guess maybe I am. I mean, I feel like if I tell her that Ild be...well, I mean, I would be...opening myself and my family totally up to her. "

" Has she ever judged you Bobby ? " Lewis asked.

" No. " he answered.

" Has she ever laughed at you or made fun of your pain ? " Lewis asked.

Bobby shook his head and slowly lowered it.

Lewis looked at him. " Hey, You okay ? "

Bobby lifted his head. He looked straight at Lewis. " I guess Ive been an ass. havent I ? " he asked.

" No...I think that because she asked you to be honest about yesterday , you probably panicked and didnt want to have to go through talking about the details of what happened again. Its pretty

powerful stuff Bobby "

" Youre probably right...I take that back, you are right. . Its probably time. You agree ? "

Lewis looked over at Bobby. He smiled. Then he got up and took his now empty plate over to Bobbys sink. After he put the plate in the sink and washed his hands, He turned around and squeezed Lewis shoulder " Thanks once again buddy. I think Ill talk with Alex tomorrow. "

" There you go. I think itll be fine Bobby. You underestimate her sometimes. " Lewis said.

Then Lewis told Bobby that he should get going. " I gotta stripe kit to try and figure out. " he said as he laughed.

Bobby laughed " Good luck with that. If you run into a problem...give me a call. "

Lewis put his coat on and thanked Bobby for dinner. The two shook hands and Bobby watched as Lewis left .

Bobby shut the door, cleaned up and went to bed. He had renewed assurance about talking to Alex about his sister.

This night he slept a little easier.


	6. Unexpected Confrontations,Unspoken Trust

Disclaimer : I wish, first of all to thank everyone who has reveiwed this story and put me and my story on their favorite author and story alert list. Oh My God. It is wonderful to know that you all enjoy my writing. It also helps to fuel my muse. Which sometimes can be challanging. Bobby, Alex and Lewis are not mine. I wish they were. This is purely for entertainment purposes only. Also this is not accepted canon for the show. Some difficult content in this chapter. So, please be aware. Rating may change. Okay Here is chapter 6. Please I need reveiws. Lots...LOL Thanks ,

Lori

SISTER

by LorMes or LAM

Chapter 6

Unexpected Confrontations and Unspoken Trust

Lewis drove right into the lot of his garage. He was pretty tired but he knew he had to, at the very least, look over the stripe kit. It did look a bit complex. Held figure it out, But he would probably need Bobbys help when it came time to apply it. It was pretty late. Somewhere around 1 am. He got out of his car and went inside. He poured the last cup of coffee that was in the pot and microwaved it to heat it up. He moved over to his work area and sat down. Then proceeded to open up the instructions that went to the kit. Just as he was getting comfortable, he heard the quiet sound of a car approaching the garage. Not used to getting visitors this late at night, he put down the instructions and went to reach for the bat that he kept under the work table. The sound of the car that seemingly followed him in had been quieted. His hand tightened a bit around the top of the bat until he heard the voice of the driver.

" Lewis ? " It called out to him

" Detective Alex ? " he asked as he quickly let go of the bat.

" Yeah. Its me. I know its late but do you have a minute ? " she asked him.

Lewis saw her and nodded. " Sure. Come on in. "

" I wasnt interrupting you was I ? " she asked.

" Ah No. I was just gonna sit down and try to pick at these instructions. "

" Oh yeah. What are you up to now ? " she asked.

" Bobby didnt tell you ? " he asked

" No. Besides, sometimes, he likes to keep his work with you quiet until its all finished. I think he likes to surprise me. "

They both laughed.

" Hey ? " she continued. " About Bobby...Can I ask you something ? "

" That depends. " he answered.

" On what ? " she said

" Just ask. " he said. " Then Ill tell you what. "

" Okay, Its about yesterday. Were you with him at all ? " she asked.

Lewis looked at her for a second.

" What ? " she asked  
Lewis looked at her. Then looked down. He reached over and picked up his coffee. He took a sip and put it down. He was pretty deep in thought.

" Ah... Lewis ? Were you with him ? " she asked again.

Lewis looked up at her. " Yeah...Yeah I was with him. " he said " But thats about all I can tell you. " he said.

" What do you mean thats all you can tell me ? " she asked.

" Why dont you sit down. " he said. She came forward and sat in a chair that he had gotten for her.

" Lewis ? Whats going on ? " she asked.

Lewis looked right into her chocolate brown eyes. " Its complicated. " he said

" Complicated or not. Weve been friends for 7 years now. Doesnt that account for anything ? " she asked him.

" Detective Alex. I wish I could tell you. But I cant. This is something so personal to Bobby that I would be betraying his trust...and I cant do that. If you want to know more, You are going to have to ask him. And then, It will be up to him to tell you. But I will not betray his trust in me. He is...ah...we are... the closest thing to being brothers...real brothers... that weve ever had "

Alex looked confused..." But...Frank... " she said

The expression on Lewis face had started to change..." Frank ! Bobby couldnt count on him even if his life depended on it. Listen. Im telling you again Okay ? Please... Dont ask me anymore about yesterday. If you want to know, youll have to ask Bobby. If he wants to tell you...he will."

" Lewis, Im sorry. I didnt mean to upset you. " she said.

" You didnt upset me Detective Alex, I guess I just get a little overprotective of Bobby sometimes. ...You know how that is...I know you do. "

Alex just looked at Lewis and smiled.

" Why dont you try and call him tomorrow. " Lewis said.

Alex smiled. It sounded like a good idea to her. " I just might Lewis. I just might. " she said

Lewis asked her if she wanted him to put on another pot of coffee to which she said " No way. "

She wanted to get in a halfway good nights sleep before she called Bobby later. So the two said good night and Alex got in her car and drove back to her place.

_" What could be so personal to Bobby that he couldnt tell her about it ? " _ she thought

It didnt matter. She got into her shower changed into her PJs and went to bed.

**Bobbys Apartment 3:45 am**

Once again the peaceful sleep that seemed to envelope Bobby Goren for the better part of the night was being cut short by yet another nightmare.

His 6 foot 4 inch frame was thrashing in his bed, once again his hands were wrapped around the sheets and pulling at them. His body thrashed around as if he was being beat.

_" You ! ... you little monster. Get over here ! " _

_His fathers voice carried through the four walls of his childhood home as if it were a jail cell. It reverburated off of the cold walls in the house. _

_He tried to out run his father but for some reason, as he backtracked, he found himself staring right into the icey cold daggers that were his fathers eyes. _

_His father reached out and grabbed Bobbys arm and twisted it around his back. _

_Bobby wouldnt dignify his father with an outcry. It would only make things worse for him... and Angela._

_His father pushed Bobby up against a wall in the hallway._

_" I saw you. You interrupted your sister and I..." he said But he was cut off by his son_

_" You were hurting her ! Shes only five. I know... what you did... to her...and...I ...Im...gonna..Te... " he said_

_But his father had now begun to push Bobby harder into the wall._

_He laughed. "Youre gonna what ? You gonna tell ? "_

_He laughed again pushing Bobby even harder into the wall almost breaking his little arm._

_Bobby couldnt hide his hurt anymore. He began to groan at his fathers abuse._

_" Shut up you little brat ! Get your ass in here." he said as he dragged Bobby down the hall towards his sisters room. _

_Once he got there, he roughly pushed open the door to her room. " Angie ! " he yelled. Get up !" _

_Bobbys eyes got big. He didnt want Angela to get hurt anymore because of him. _

_Angela got up and sat up in bed. _

_" Yes daddy ? " she asked. _

_He pushed Bobby over to her. Still hanging onto his arm. " Do you love your brother ? " he asked her_

_" Yes sir. " she said with a shadow of tears in her eyes. _

_Then he looked over at Bobby. " Do you love your sister ? " he asked him_

_Bobby looked at her Then back at his father. " I asked you a question you little shit ! Do you love your sister ? " _

_Angela saw the hurt in her brothers eyes. " Please daddy, Dont hurt Bobby.! " she said_

_Bobby had tears in his eyes " Yes ! I do...and way more than you ever will ! " he said_

_Bobby looked up into his fathers eyes and before he could get another word out, he felt his fathers backhand across his small face. It stung like hell. Plus now there was a trickle of blood coming from the side of his mouth. _

_Angela saw this and cried. " Please Daddy, you are hurting brother. please !! Please stop. " she asked him, but it was too late. _

_Bobbys father took him and pushed him to the ground. He roughly placed his foot on his sons neck to keep him down. Then he looked at Bobby. " There, see what youve done. Youve made Angela cry. Its all your fault. "_

_Bobby tried to hide his anger but he couldnt. But he knew he had better be quiet._

_And right there in front of Angela, Bobbys father told his son that everytime he interrupted him and Angela, that she would get punished more because of his disobedience. _

_" Bobby looked over to his sister and his eyes spoke volumes. Little Angela was way too young to understand. And even at 7 years old, Bobby knew that. All Angela cared about was that Bobby was not being hurt for the moment. _

_But in an instant, things changed, the elder Goren proceeded to beat the crap out of his son. _

_Angela started to cry again and Bobby tried to tell her to be strong. Somehow, she understood and stopped, but Bobby could see that she was traumatized._

_Bobby begged his father to stop, but the more he begged, the more he got beat. By the time the beating was over, 7 year old Bobby Goren looked and felt like he had seen the inside of hell. _

_His father dragged him out into the hall and into his bedroom. Then he dropped his young son on his bed and left him there to sleep it off during the night. Little did he know that his son was not completely unconscience. Seven year old Bobby Goren was awake and his little body hurt and his tears stung as they fell down his face into the bruises that his father left on his body. _

_Then things were quiet._

The ring of the phone seemed to snap Bobby out of his nightmare and back into his reality. He noticed the sweat and the bedsheets that were looking as if a tornadoe hit them. He rolled over and reached for the phone, noticing the time. It was almost 4:30 am. He picked up the phone but the cradle dropped off of the nightstand.

Groggily he said " Hold up..."

He reached down and grabbed the cradle. Then he placed it back onto the nightstand.

" Bobby ? " he heard

Bobby answered " Who..Who is...this ? "

" Its me man. Lewis. Where the heck have you been ? Ive been trying to get you for about an hour now. Youre not drunk are you ? "

Bobby was half awake now. " Lewis ? What the hell ? Do you know what time it is ? "

" Yeah. 4:30. Are you okay ? I means everything okay ? "

Bobby knew and trusted Lewis. " " Yeah I guess. I had another nightmare. "

" About ..."

Bobby cut him off. " Yeah about that. "

" Well, thats kind of why I called. " he said

Bobby was more awake by now. " Why ? "

" I had a visitor after I got home. "

What ? It was pretty late. Who came out to see you ? " he asked

" Youre not gonna beleive it. " he said

Bobby was really not a patient man at 4:30 am , but then again, neither was anyone else.  
" Come on...Who came to see yo..."

With realization he said it himself " Alex ? "

Lewis spoke quietly into the phone. " Yeah. She wanted me to tell her about yesterday. "

Bobby was quiet on his end of the phone.

" Hey man, Dont get mad at her. Shes just concerned. "

Bobby understood. " I know. "

" I didnt say anything. Ild never do that. I did tell her that if she wanted to know anything that she would have to talk to you. I told her that it was your choice to tell her or not. "

" I appreciate that. " he said.

" I knew you would. " Lewis said.

" Hey ? " Bobby asked.

"Huh ? "

"You think shell call me or should I call her ? "

" Play it by ear Bobby. I think she just might try and call you. But if she doesnt by around noon, give her a call and see maybe sheld like to talk. " Lewis said

Bobby always trusted his friends advice.

" Did she indicate to you that she might try and call me ? " Bobby asked.

"Ah... I hope you dont mind Bobby...but I sort of encouraged her to. " Lewis said.

" No. I dont mind. Im kinda glad actually. Some of the pressure is off of me. "

Lewis smiled. " Sure let me do all the prep work. "

Bobby smiled. Listen...I should probably go . I gotta try and get some good sleep. "

" Okay. I should go too. I tried to go to sleep after she left but it didnt work. Thats why I was trying to call you. But, Before I go...You okay ? " Lewis asked.

Bobby knew what he was referring to. " Yeah I guess so. "

" The nightmare, pretty bad ? " Lewis asked.

" Yeah, It was about the night I caught him with her the first time. "

" Ow. Thats rough. Listen up, If you need to come by and get your mind off things later, Just let me know.

" Yeah I will, But I think I haveta talk with Alex first. " he said. " But thanks anyway Lewis. Ill keep that in mind ...just in case things dont go that well. "

" Okay. " Lewis said. " Night now..."

" Yeah you too. "

Then the two men hung up their respective phones.

Bobby tried but couldnt for the life of him go back to sleep. The nightmare that had so vicously plaqued him was too vivid in his mind. So he got up and went into the bathroom. He took care of his personal business and proceeded to get undressed. Then he went over to the shower. He reached in and turned on the hot and cold faucets respectively and tried to regulate them to a nice hot temperature. As soon as he had accomplished that, he got in and began to, not only wash over his body but he put the shower head on pulse massage so that he could try and relax. Bobby stood in the shower and cried. He rubbed the stinging hot tears away with the hot water. He was angry. He took his hands and closed them into tight fists. And then without even blinking, he punched the shower walls. A minute later he had calmed enough to stand with his head totally immersed under the shower head. The hot liquid ran from the top of his head down his torso and back right down his legs to the bottom of the stall. He took his right hand and wiped at his face. Tears still flowed downward from his eyes. The pain of what had happened to his sister was still very real even 37 years after they took place. He wanted to scream. He knew he needed to relax so he stood there still. A few minutes turned into about 30 minutes. By the time he got out of the shower, his body WAS relaxed and clean. He toweled off and moved over to the sink. He towel dried his hair and brushed his teeth. His forever scruffy five-o-clock shadow was in its full glory so he left it. Since it was Saturday, he could dress down a bit. Bobby being who he was could never really dress down unless it was for some undercover operation. So He pulled out a nice crisp new pair of blue jeans and his nice tight black NYPD t-shirt. Plus he had white socks and sneakers and a nice black belt with a silver design in it. Now the clock read 6:15 am. Once again his apartment smelled like coffee. His nostrils flared when the aroma hit him. So he was off to the kitchen to make himself a cup. He turned on the tv to catch the early edition of the news and the weather. Time seemed to be going by so slowly. He made himself some breakfast . Two eggs poached with some homefries and bacon. He really was a good cook but he didnt like to advertise it. After eating he heard the newspaper being thrown at the front of his apartment door step. So he opened up the door and picked it up. Turning back and entering the apartment, he quickly glanced over at the clock. 8 am. " Shit, this day is moving too slow.

He wondered what Alex was doing or if she was even up. Lewis was right. After Bobby thought about it he concurred with his friend. He was afraid of losing Alex as a friend and partner if he was completely honest with her about Angela. He would just have to step out on a limb and trust Alex.

**Alexs Home**

**8 am**

Alex on the other hand was busy getting ready for her day. When she spoke to Lewis last night, he told her to go and give Bobby a call. She had taken her shower earlier when she got back from Lewis. So really there wasnt anything else for her to do, except get dressed and try and call him. So inside her bedroom, she rummaged through her drawers and found a nice pair of jeans and a red turtleneck sweater. She put them on and went over to her large full body mirror. She made the appropriate adjustments to her clothes and hair, then went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. When she came out her phone was ringing. She picked it up and opened it, Her mom. " Mom ! How are you ? And why the heck are you calling me this early ! Is everything okay with dad ? and you ? "

" Alex, Everything is fine. Im calling because Dad and I are planning to go shopping today, you know , make a whole day of it. And we were wondering if you would like to join us. Your sisters coming. "

Alex paused for a minute. Usually when they invite her it means that they are going to end up buying her something.

" Ah, Mom, Ill have to pass this weekend. I have some plans. "

" Oh really ? What can be more fun than going shopping with your dad and I ? " she asked

_" Oh if she only knew. " Alex thought_ .

" Ah...Nothing ma, Just have to go somewhere. " she said

" Oh ? Does this going somewhere involve that handsome partner of yours ? "

" Mom...I told you...we are just friends..." she said

" Oh dear, thats what we all say. Then were hooked like a fish , and the next thing we know, we are married to them for thirty years. " She laughed.

" Mom, I haveta go now. Ill be late. "

" Okay dear, but remember were not leaving until around ten. So if you change your mind, you know you can still join us. "

" Oh I know Mom. But seriously, Ill be late. I promise Ill call you later...and have fun shopping with dad and JoAnn. "

" Oh we will.Is there anything you need ? " she asked.

" No mom. Ill talk to you later. I love you. "

" I love you too Alex. " She hung up the phone only to see that Bobby had tried to call her.

She quickly reopened her phone and dialed the messege.

_Hey Alex, Its Bobby. I know its Saturday and you are probably sleeping in. No need to hurry, its not an emergency. Please give me a call when you get this. Bye. _

Alex hit the send button and soon heard the ring of Bobbys phone.

Bobby picked up quickly " Alex. That was fast " he said

" Yeah, I was on the phone with my mom. Its shopping day over at our house. She wanted to know if I wanted to go with them. "

" Hey, Dont let me stop you. If yould rather go with them, then go ahead. " he said

" Well, that depends...Are we going somewhere ? " she asked.

" Well, I was kind of wanting to get together with you. Theres something Ive got to talk to you about. " he said

" Oh ? " she asked Even though she was glad he had brought it up first.

" Yeah. So do you wanna get together sometime today ? " he asked.

" Sure. " she said.

Any particular time in mind ? " she added.

" Well, I was thinking sometime around lunch time. If thats alright with you ? "

" Sounds good. Are we going out or ordering in ? " she asked.

Good question Bobby thought. He didnt really want to go out because the topic of discussion was too intense to be talking about in public. So he made his decision.

" Ummm...I think well order in. Is that okay with you ? " he asked.

" Sure. " she said.

" Do you need me to come out and pick you up ? " he asked

" Nope, I ll drive out. Just need to know what time. " she said

Okay , Um, How about like around noon. Ill order Italian...and theyll deliver it...this way you dont even have to stop and pick it up. Sound good ? " he asked.

" Sounds good to me Bobby. Ill see you then...And ah...thanks. " she said.

" No problem...Ill see you then. "

The two phones were folded up and the wait began. Bobby Goren knew he had to do this, but it wasnt that simple. This was truly the most personal thing he would be trusting her with.

He had placed the order with Castellanos Italian restaurant and it was going to be delivered around noon.

11:30am Bobby was pacing around his apartment. Thinking about what to say and how to say it. He hoped that he could get through it without breaking down. He almost reached for the phone to call Alex and cancel. But something stopped him. Lewis voice probably, telling him that sometimes he underestimated her.

His doorbell rang and brought him back to the reality of the situation. He was hoping against all hope that it was Castellanos . Maybe there was an explosion and he wouldnt be able to get the food... He laughed and thought " _Yeah right...I couldnt be that lucky. " _ Besides...He wasnt sure if he could see Alex face to face right at the moment.

He walked over to the door and opened it. Nope ...It wasnt Castellanos, there wasnt any explosion...There standing before him was his petite partner, Alex Eames. Nicely dressed, her smile, not so vibrant, but there just the same. Something in her eyes, her cocoa pools, looking at him. Calmed him even more.

" Hey. " she said quietly.

He looked at her. " Hey. " he replied. " Come on in. "

As Alex entered his apartment, she passed him. There was a breeze. A warm breeze. Just like the one he experienced when he went to visit _HER. _Maybe that was a sign. A confirmation of sorts...Maybe that was just _HER _way of telling him that it was alright to share what happened.

He closed the door behind her and took her coat.

Again, the two of them just looked into each others eyes. Quiet, unspoken trust passed between them and for the first time, Bobby felt somewhat releived and comforted by it. And he knew, his secret would be safe with her.


	7. Apprehensive Disclosures, Perfect Trust

Disclaimer: The same applies, Goren, Eames and Lewis are not mine. Without them I could not write this. I guess I owe Dick Wolf. No profit. Just for entertainment only. Reveiw, reveiw , reveiw !!

Sorry this has taken long to update. I have been sick with a stinking lingering cold that wont quit and I had a tooth removed. So generally, I feel like shi--kaka...But hopefully, the muse has returned. Enjoy !

Also Word of caution This chapter will contain descriptions of father daughter abuse and implied father son abuse so if that bothers you, please dont continue. Okay? You Have Been Warned...

Lori

Sister

by

LorMes or LAM

Chapter 7

Apprehensive Diclosures and Perfect Trust

Bobby was apprehensive...Alex could see it and feel it.

But along with the apprehensiveness, there was a sense of odd comfort.

And Bobby, he couldnt get over the fact that the warm breeze had enveloped him. Could it be that his sisters spirit sensed Alex spirit...? Could it be that his sisters spirit sensed that it was kindred to her brothers ? Bobby decided not to question it .

" So ? Ah...Can I take your coat ? " he asked her quietly.

" Ah...sure. " she said as she started to slip out of it.

Bobby found himself behind her reaching out to help her shed her coat. Once it was shed, He placed it into his hall closet.

" You look nice Alex. " he said

" " You too Bobby. You look... comfortable. Nice for a change Huh ? "

" Yeah...I guess. " he said smiling at her.

" I smell some really good coffee. " she said " Is it my favorite ? " she asked

" Starbucks grande just the way you like it...with lots and lots of sugar and milk. I went out around the corner a little while ago. So its fresh. " he said

" Aww. Bobby, Thats great. Thanks. So... wheres lunch ? "

" Dont worry, should be here momentarily. I hope you dont mind, I took the liberty and ordered for you. " he said

" Nah. I bet you ordered the veal parm for me, and probably one for you too." she said laughing.

" You know me all too well Alex. I did order veal for us...with linquini and small side salads. Plus theyre gonna bring us a couple of bottles of pepsi too. Is that okay ? he asked.

She nodded.

" So... " he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. " How bout we sit before lunch gets here ? " he asked.

She agreed. The two friends walked into Bobbys kitchen. Bobby handed her the starbucks coffee and they sat down.

Smalltalk ensued...about the weather and the goings on at work. Their latest case bearing the brunt of it.

All of that shortlived though because about 15 minutes later, the food arrived. Bobby got up, went over and opened up the door.

He proceeded to pay the young man and took the food. As he closed the door, he heard Alex ask him if he needed any help.

He told her no as he made his way into the kitchen.

He placed the food on the table. As he did that, he thought that he probably wouldnt be able to eat. Especially knowing what he would be talking about shortly. Maybe it would be better to talk first and eat later.

" Hey...ah... " he said. " Would you mind ...you know...if maybe we talk first ? " he asked her.

Alex looked calmly over at him. " Ah...no, If thats what you wanna do . "

He laughed..." I dont think its a matter of want. " he said.

She smiled softly.

" Bobby ? " she asked

" Huh ? " he replied.

She lightly rubbed his arm and told him that it would be okay. He in turn asked her if she wouldnt mind going into the living room.

She shook her head no.

Bobby took the food and placed it into his refridgerator along with the pepsi.

The two moved into the living room where they found more comfortable seating.

" Listen Alex..." he said " I dont think I quite know where to start. "

Alex listened and looked into his cocoa pools. The look she gave him sent more warmth up his spine. Like no matter what he said, there would be perfect trust.

" I dont know why you are the way you are with me. " he said

" What do you mean ? " she asked him.

" I mean, You are so accepting of me. No matter what. Its strange...something Im not really used to."

" Bobby, Youre my partner...more importantly...my friend. Thats what friends do...Theyre there for each other...you know. "

He knew, It was like Lewis. And now, it was time to add...To really add... her.

" I know Alex, ...Its just that ...well..."

She cut him off. Unintentionally, but she had to say what was on her mind.

" Listen, Its like I said to you. If you think, for one moment...that I thought you were really sick the other day...I mean...Ive worked with you for the better part of 7 years now. I know when youre sick. And...I know when youre not. Whatever this is about Bobby, Im not going anywhere. "

Bobby felt bad. " Im sorry Alex. I didnt mean to..."

" No need for apologies Bobby. Okay ? " she said.

He nodded his head in a positive response and then got up from the sofa.

He began to pace. " Okay. " he said as he turned towards her " No apologies. "

She smiled.

He took a deep breath as he began to reveal his secret. " Youu know by now that Ive made up my mind to tell you...Which ...by the way, was mostly Lewis idea. I know you went and saw him last night. "

" I did. " she said. " I wanted to know about the other day. I mean, Lets face it...Yesterday at work, you were not yourself...and you know it. I...I just want to help. Can you understand ? " she asked.

" I can now. " he replied

" And I can understand why Lewis is such a great friend. He wouldnt give anything up. Youre lucky Bobby. Not many people have friends like him." she said

He shook his head. " I know. Thats why this is so difficult. I know it shouldnt be...Its just that this is...well...this is... and always has been between him and I. Not even his mother knows. Thats why to a certain extent...its really hard to talk about. "

" Okay, so ...you wanna know where to start ? How bout at the beginning. " she said as she sat back.

And as she did, she made a brief hand gesture for him to join her on the sofa.

Bobby thought. Just briefly before sitting down and beginning his disclosure. This was it. No turning back now. He had reached his precipice. He had made his choice.

A deep breath preceded his voice.

" Okay..." he said as he looked at her... " Alex, you know about everything in my life..." he said

She nodded

" Almost everything..."

She looked at him a bit perplexed.

" There is one thing that I havent told you about. I...I had...I had a sister. "

He slowly took another breath.

Alex remained calm and still. Bobby looked at her as if trying to find a reason not to go on. He couldnt find one.

Alex finally said " A sister...Thats great Bobby. So why didnt you tell me about her. "

Bobby looked at her again...a little taken back. " Ah...Didnt you hear me ? " he asked as he shook his head.

He continued. " I said...I HAD a sister...She died when she was seven. "

" Alexs jaw dropped. It all made sense now. Every year...the same day...An anniversary.

Bobby heard it...

" Oh shit. " spoken from her lips softly enough, she thought for only her to hear, but Bobby heard it loud and clear. " Im so sorry Bobby. Im so sorry. "

Alex looked over to him and saw a tearline flowing down his face on the right side.

" Bobby ? " she asked " If this is too much...Oh my God...Im sorry Bobby. I didnt mean... "

Bobby looked over to her. He wiped the tearline. " Its okay. " he said.

" Bobby ? If you dont want to continue..."

" Alex..." he said as he reached for her hand. " I said...Its okay. Alright ? I sort of go through this every year. .. Ask Lewis. "

" She looked at him and didnt know what to say...or ask.

Bobby got up. Ill be right back. He headed down the hall and returned a few seconds later with a box of tissues. " Here. You ...we...might need them. "

She grinned at him as she reached over and took one.

" Okay. Thanks. " she said. Then she got quiet for a moment as she sort of gathered her thoughts.Then she did what most people would do in the same situation. She asked him a question. _The Question..._

Quietly she asked " Ah...How did she die Bobby ? "

Bobby knew it was coming and it was an internal struggle to keep going. Alex could see it and just when she was going to tell him that if he didnt want to answer...he didnt have to...He spoke.

" Well, Its a long story. " he said But continueing, he added " The short of it is...She was trying to get back to me and she just ran out into the street without looking. "

" No. " Alex said

Bobby had his head down. Alex knew that there was more to tell. With Bobbys life being what it was...there always was.

" Bobby. If this is too much... "

He caught her mid-sentence. " No. Im gonna tell you everything. I have to. "

Alex sighed and gave him a hint of a smile. Then she asked him what her name was.

" Angela. Angela Frances Goren. " he said " But I called her Angel. I was the only one who called her that. "

" Really ? Thats a great nickname. " she said.

" She loved it. She used to say that one day, sheld have wings just like the angels. You would have loved her. She was beautiful. Full of love and life. " he said " That is...until mom got sick. Alex was afraid to ask. But she had to.

" Ah...What happened ? "

" Well.. Mom was sent away and then...well...Dad... "

One word. That sent a world of thoughts flowing through her mind. Alex knew Bobbys father was crazy, but she could only imagine. Maybe she couldnt...maybe...she shouldnt.

" You know I was seven when mom was sent away. That made Angela five. God Alex...We were so close. She was so innocent...I...I couldnt help her. " he said. Then he got quiet for a moment. To sort of gather his thoughts.

" Bobby...relax okay. Im still here. " she said

Then he took a deep breath and continued. " Okay. About two or three days after mom was taken away from us, I was at school. I had to stay after because I was getting ready for a science fair. "

Alex smiled. Even at seven years old, Bobby Goren was smart and curious. _ " It figures " _ she thought to herself. Being brought out of her thoughts she heard Bobby asking if she was still paying attention.

" Im sorry Bobby, I was just thinking about you and the science fair. " she said.

He smiled at her.

" Please continue Bobby...I really am listening. "

" Well, Dad was supposed to pick me up at the school but he never showed up. I couldnt walk home , the school was too far from home. So I sat on the steps of the school. About ten minutes later, I saw Lewis and his mom drive by. I waved to them as they went by. I thought she didnt see me, but all of a sudden, I saw her car come up to me.

The window was being rolled down..." Hey Bobby! " I heard. Lewis had practically had his entire body out of the window. He asked me what I was doing there. After I told him that my dad was supposed to pick me up.

His mom offered to take me home. So I hopped in her car and she drove me home. It was risky, because if he had shown up and I wasntthere, Ild have gotten beat, But I had to take the risk. It was pretty cold out and I didnt want to freeze to death...or get a cold. Anyway, It was a quiet ride to the house and when we got there, she offered to walk me up to the door. I spoke right up and told her that it was alright. I had a key. She asked me if I was sure. I told her yes and when I got out of the car, I sighed heavily. Then I shut the door and watched as they drove a couple of houses down to their house. I turned and looked at my house, Dads car was there. So I figured he really did forget."

Bobby looked at Alex. " Are you sure you want me to go on? " he asked.

Alex smiled. She reached out and took his hand..His large hand...and she wrapped it around her own small hand. Her cocoa pools looked into his and she asked him " Are you sure you want to go on ? I told you...Im not going anywhere. "

Bobby squeezed her hand lightly with re-assurance. " Alex, Youve been so good to me.' he said " I want you to know how grateful I am. "

She smiled.

He continued. " So ... Where was I ?... Oh yeah, Getting home. Ah listen, this might get bad here Alex...So just like be aware. Okay. "

Alex had a really bad feeling about where this was going, But she smiled at her friend and partner to offer her re-assurance once again.

And so, Bobby continued. " I closed the door and put my school stuff on the chair by the door. I called out for my dad and Angel, but I got no answer. So I went upstairs. I had a bad feeling. So I got quiet. I heard some crying coming from Angels room. The door was closed. I went up to the door and heard my father. He was telling her that now that her mother was gone, she would have to take on her responsibilities...and this was one of them. God Alex, Curiosity got the best of me and I started to open the door. I saw him. He was in her bed with her. And she was telling him that what he was doing ...was hurting. He slapped her. Told her if she learned to relax...it wouldnt hurt as much. I was so mad, I forgot about the door and I leaned into it. I must have leaned too hard because it creaked and opened a little. My father stopped his assault on my sister and looked over to the door. He spotted me right away then proceeded to yell at me. He told me to get lost. Told me he would deal with me later. I saw Angel, tears in her eyes as she looked over to me. I wanted to go to her but I knew if I defied my father, It would be hell , for both of us. What could I do. So I closed the door and went to my room, which happened to be right next to hers. I laid on my bed and listened to his disguting assault on my sister. I heard her cry. And I heard her breathe. I heard her try to tell him it hurt.I heard him ignore her. I heard him tell her that she had to take my moms place.

Then I heard his cries of what I later came to know as pleasure. " He teared up as did Alex. They both reached for tissues. He continued " ...Alex, I was seven years old and I knew what he was doing was wrong. But I couldnt help her. As soon as he was done, he opened the door to her bedroom and slammed it into the hallway wall. I heard him buckling up his belt and zippering up his pants. He called to me, wanted me to go to him. Did he think I was crazy ? I couldnt. So I backtracked through the house and ran right into him. He grabbed me and almost broke my arm. I told him that I knew what he did to her and that I was going to tell. He laughed at me. Then he dragged me into Angels room. He yelled for her to get up. She sat right up in bed. After he asked her and I if we loved each other, he proceeded to backhand me because I told him I loved my sister more than he ever would. He made me bleed, which in turn made Angel cry. He threw me down onto the floor and locked me there with his foot which was down on my neck. Angel started to cry. He told me that everytime I was bad or interrupted them, she was going to bear the brunt of it.

I looked over to her and ...and it was like we both knew. Only thing was...The pain wasnt over. My father continued to beat the crap out of me. I...I begged him to stop. That only seemed to fuel his rage. After what seemed like forever, he dragged me down the hall and dropped me into my bed. Every inch of my 7 year old body hurt and every tear that ran down my face, stung like hell when it crossed paths with an open or swollen wound. It was the first time I was rendered unconscience. It...It took two more years of listening to it...and taking it... before I got up the nerve to call out for help...Two years...What kind of brother does that make me ? Thats a whopping 730 days ! 730 times he did this to her...us. Every night. I mean, eventually, she learned to be quiet...and I learned to take it.. but it took a while. And when we did, It was like he somehow didnt enjoy it that much anymore. How sick is that ?. Sheld lay so still on her bed, you could hear a pin drop. It seemed to me that the only time she was genuinely happy was when she was with me. We did get some alone time, I mean, I helped her with her howework and played games with her. But the best times we had were when we would sneak out of the house late at night on a clear night and go up on the roof. We would watch the stars and she would talk about the angels. Thank God Lewis and his family were there. I really dont know where Ild be without them. "

Alex, found herself stunned and crying, not sobbing, just crying. Bobby had trickles of tears running down his face at the thought of what he had endured with his precious sister. He made a point of not talking about it except on the anniversary and only to Lewis.

This was difficult to say the least.

They were going to need more tissues.

Bobby sat back. His psyche had been spent, but he was far from being finished. If he was going to give Alex full disclosure, he had to come totally clean. That wouldnt be easy for sure.

Alex saw how he was spent and suggested she make a nice strong pot of coffee. Bobby did not refuse.

She went into his kitchen to start the coffee and he disappeared down the hallway to get more tissues. He half expected her to be on her way out when he came back. That would confirm his apprehensiveness. But she wasnt. She was in his cabinets getting two cups and saucers. She had set out spoons and sugar. She spotted him in the doorway of the kitchen and smiled.

He smiled back.

Bobby thought of the perfect trust. He thought how lucky he was now that he had found two wonderful friends. The warm breeze enveloped him once again.

The coffee had brewed and the two sat in quiet reflection at what Bobby had just revealed.

" This ", he thought " Could go on well past dinner. "


	8. The Beginning of His Disclosure Part 1

Sister

By

Lormesorlam

Chapter 8

THE BEGINNING OF HIS DISCLOSURE PART 1

DISCLAIMER: Once again, I am not the owner of Law and Order Criminal Intent or any of the characters. Dick Wolfe is. I am writing this story for entertainment purposes only and for your enjoyment only.

This story is NOT accepted canon for the show it is an original. So Bobbys sister Angela is my original creation. Also, Please be aware that this chapter will go into graphic depictions of father daughter and father son abuse. If you do not like reading such things than I suggest that you do not continue.

To all of the people who have been waiting on me to continue this story, I apologize folr taking so long to do so. It would take me a lifetime to explain but the long and short of it is that within the last year and a half I lost my grandmother, my favorite Aunt who also happened to be my Godmother, my Father-in-law, my 13 year old Beloved Bassett Hound on July 16 of 2009 and on Jan 17th of this year, I lost my mother to stage four matastisized bone cancer after only a short 3 month battle with it. So I know you`ll understand. It is the right time for me to get back to this. It could be the best form of therapy for me.

On with the story

Sister

Chapter 8

THE BEGINNING OF HIS DISCLOSURE PART 1

There was a silence that clouded the air in his apartment while the two of them sat and ate their dinner. Even though Bobby felt the perfect trust and odd comfort, he still was a private person. In the midst of their dinner they were interupted by a beep on his phone. He looked down and saw that it was Lewis. He excused himself from the table and walked back into his bedroom.

" Hey Lewis. What`s up ? " he asked

" Ah, Nothin` man. Just checking in, making sure that everything is okay. Is detective Alex there? " he asked

" Yes " Bobby answered.

" That`s great. Did you tell her yet? " he asked.

" Just the basics you know ? "

" Oh ," he continued " And I`ll definitely call you if I needjya. " Bobby said.

" And Lewis…"

" Yeah... ? "

Bobby answered him with a simple statement. " Thanks man, for everything. ".

He folded his phone up and placed it on his dresser. Then he came out into his kitchen,

pleasently surprised to find Alex had cleaned his entire kitchen and now had one glass of

wine and one shot of Glenlivet sitting on the cocktail table in his livingroom.

Bobby looked over at her and thanked her. She replied " No thanks needed. I figured you

probably weren`t to hungry, so I wrapped up your plate and put it in the fridge. "

Bobby went over to his sofa and sat down matter of sighed then picked up

his shot glass and drank down the warm amber liquid in one shot.

It was enough to calm his nerves. After all, he was coming to the meat of his story

and he knew it was not going to be easy for him to tell her…or for that matter…for her to hear.

Alex looked at him and took a sip of her wine. Then asked him if he wanted another.

" No. That`s okay. Just needed to take the edge off. That should do it. "

" Okay, " she said " And Bobby, Whenever you are ready to continue, I`ll be here. "

Bobby Goren sat back into his couch. Letting the Glenlivet take effect. He thought about how he was

going to come clean to Alex. He thought about how she was going to respond to his and Angels

story. The physical, verbal, mental and sexual abuse suffered by him and his sister at the hands of the

man who dared to call himself their father . What Bullshit. More of a monster Bobby thought.

That man, he claimed his own children as his prized possessions to be passed around as trophies

to be used by whoever, wherever, and however they pleased. May he rot in Hell.

Alex sat quietly and looked at him. She could see the silent conflict going on inside Bobbys head.

She worried . Worried about what it could be that would cause this much stress on him.

She had always wondered about him. And now she was going to get a rare and uncommon

glimspe into the characteristics that make Bobby Goren …well… Bobby Goren.

Bobby knew that he couldn`t avoid this disclosure much longer. He`s the one who started it and now

In the intrest of perfect and complete trust, he had to reveal his darkest and most personal

secrets to his partner turned best friend. For the past eight years he had witheld nothing from her

except his mothers illness or at least the severity of it and now this.

So earlier thiis evening, he revealed to her that he had a sister. And just the basics of her life.

Time to come clean with full and honest disclosure.

Bobby Goren, the six foot four inch bear of a man who could take on the most vicious of criminals

and get them to confess on the drop of a dime was almost speechless and could not find the words

to begin his disclosure. He looked up at Alex and saw her cocoa pools looking right back at him.

Compassion swelling in them for him and his sister.

And he knew somehow that even though this would be hard on her, he realized, in a strange way that

the two of them would make it through this Together.

And once again, he felt the warm breeze ,that he knew was his sisters spirit. It shrouded

his body as a confirmation from her that this was alright. He tried to hold back a tear that was

threatening to run down the right side of his cheek. But it was impossible . The tear ran down

and he felt Alex reach out and rub it away with her thumb.

At that point of physical contact, both Bobby and Alex felt a rush of adrenhelin flow through

their bodies. They both had wanted this for quite a while. But being partnered as they were

they knew they could not take the chance, It could mean the loss of their badges. However,

now that touch had happened. Small though it was, it created a different feeling.

One that had been building up for the past three years. It felt warm and compassionate.

A feeling that Bobby Goren always gaurded himself from. A feeling that now, right now,

He wanted more of. And looking at Alex, He could see and feel the same coming from her.

Only he saw more. For that second, he saw for the first time that Alex, his Alex, wanted to

be something more than just a partner and friend. And it made his heart leap.

Bobby looked at her softly knowing that he had to take care of this first. The rest would

come soon. But not soon enough.

So, with every ounce of stregth that he had in him, which wasn`t much,

he sat up on the sofa and looked towards her.

" Okay, " he said taking in a deep breath. " " Ihope you are ready because this could get

pretty nasty. "

All Alex did was look into his eyes . Then she reached out and took hold of his soft hands .

She spoke softly and directly at him. " I told you I`m not leaving. So just find a place and start

sharing." Then she smiled. Her smile melted his worried heart and he found peace.

A peace that made him think that maybe he could get through this.

As Bobby sat there , he seemed to find his starting point. " Okay Alex, I told you earlier that I had

A sister. Her name is Angela Frances Goren. Or Angel as I called her. I also told you that when our

mother got sick, she was sent away. That made me 7 and Angel 5 years old.

That lasted for two long years. And those two years were the absolute worst two years in our lives.

I told you about what my father did to her. He molested her.

Now, I do not even consider him a father. A monster is more like it. " He had to stop and take a

breath . Looking into her cocoa pools, he took that breath, and continued.

"T he hardest part of this, is what I have to share with you now.

During those two years, The abuse, physical… verbal… mental… and…" he paused to find the right

word. But there was only one. Continueing he said shaking " And…sexual…

continued for both Angela and I… ." Bobby stopped and had to take another breath. Alex looked

momentarily stunned. Had she heard him right? Had he really said that HE too was… above all things,

sexually abused? Part of her wanted to hear part of her wanted him to stop.

She felt her heart break for him. It was becoming clearer by the minute, why he was the way he was.

Bobby gathered up his breath and his recall of certain things that happened during those two years.

He began to speak again. " I felt like the most terrible brother in the world. That man,

who had the audacity of calling himself our father, would be so busy with Angel, that he

would lock me out of the house, even in the winter because he wanted her all for himself.

I knew what he was doing. I was not stupid. I tried several times to go in and get her and each time

the punishments would get more severe. First time, it was a beating.

About two months later, after trying again to get her out, he beat me

senseless. I laid unconscience on the floor of my room bleeding like a seive. He broke my arm and

fractured three of my ribs. I remember that one because luckily after he beat me,

he left to go to the bar with his buddies. Angel was sitting with me trying her best to

make the hurt go away for her brother. Then there was a knock on the door. Angel

said that she told me not to move, but of course, I didn`t remember. She said it was Lewis. He wanted

to know if I was there and if I could come and play. Then I think Lewis could see that something was

seriously wrong. It was pretty obvious since there was blood on her dress.

He asked her to take him to where I was. He followed her and ran upstairs to my room.

When he got there he saw me. He tried to wake me up. Then he told her not to move and

that he would take care of it. Next thing I know I`m waking up in Memorial Hospital in Brooklyn.

Lewis, his mom and dad and my Angel were there. You know for the first time since mom was sent

away I felt like I belonged to a real family. That was shortlived because when my dad got there shortly

thereafter, Even though the doctors and police wanted to talk to Angel and I , we were to young. He

would have to be there and I was petrified of him. When I looked over to Lewis and his mom, I

remember she had such contempt on her face everytime she looked at our dad.

Going home that night was not fun. He looked back at me and told me that if my little friend ever came

over again, he would find a way to punish him too. But Angel, she suffered badly for my mistake.

He started to pull her from school on days that he just wanted to torture her. Those days were the

worst. Then one day, I came home, my arm and fractures had healed , but I knew that things were way

different. Instead of one voice…his voice…There were more than one. "

Bobby had to stop. The tears had once again threatened to fall. Not a threat, They were there.

So was Alex. And so were her tears.

He began again. " In the midst of it all were Angels soft moans of hurt. Her soft cries for her brother.

I couldn`t help her. I knew in my heart that if I did, he would hurt her more. And I didn`t want that to

be my fault. So I would go into my room and try to wash out her cries by holding my ears until

I heard the door to her room shut and the footsteps of my fathers friends leave.

Once I heard that I knew it was safe to leave and venture into her room. When I opened the door,

she was wrapped up in her blanket sobbing. I went to her and called for her. She did not respond.

So I reached out to her. As soon as I touched her, She flinched and said please, that she had had

enough. I spoke softly to her and told her it was okay. Told her it was brother. Alex, when she turned

around , she looked like hell and she was so sad. But, she was glad to see me. Pretty evident in

the size of the hug that she gave me. She cried out " Brother ! Brother ! I missed you. " Then she looked

into my eyes and said " Brother, They hurt me so bad." She buried her 5 year old head into the crook of

my neck and continued sobbing.

I sat there on my sisters bed and held onto her for dear life. We both cried and when we were

done, we pulled back from each other and I vowed that I would take care of her. I would get her out

of the house even if we had to run away. She looked up at me and gave me a slight smile.

Next thing I know, My father, in his totally drunken state, stepped into her room.

He stunk of smoke and bar room. He was completely disheveled. His malevolent eyes

peirced right through my soul. When he stepped inside her room he began to clap.

" Well, ain`t this a pretty sight. " he said to the both of us who now found ourselves sitting upright

in her bed, back up against the wall. He came right over to the bedside and looked ot the two of us.

Then he pointed his finger towards Angel and told her lay down and go to sleep. He said " Tomorrow`s

gonna be another long day for you. "

" Oh I knew what he meant. And I could see her twinge when he said it to her. Then he leaned

into me and told me to follow him. I was young and nervous. I followed him right into my bedroom.

He roughly placed me on my bed and got right into my face. He told me " Superhero huh ? You want to

try and be a superhero…Let me tell you Bobby. I know a lot about you. But you know nothing about me.

What you did tonight, Well, that sort of changes up the game."

" I didn`t even know there was a game going on. Had no idea that this was his game and we were

his pawns.

After slapping me around awhile, and roughing me up, he didn`t waste anytime getting to

the high point of his evening. He laid me out on my bed belly down and tied my wrists and ankles

to the four corner posts. I was worried now. What the heck was he going to do? I thought.

Didn`t take long for me to realize where it was going. He didn`t do anything but take his pocket knife

out. I heard it click into place. " Please dad! Please dad ! I promise. I`ll be good. "

All he said was If I knew what was good for me, I`ld shut up and lay still.

Then he proceeded to force my head into the pillow.

He got up on the bed and straddled me. I could feel the knife running down my back and when it got

to the lowest point, He bagan to cut through my pajamas. He went through my pajamas and then my

underwear. The my nine year old bare ass was staring him in the face. He leaned down close to me,

event Son…Imagine that, as he was abusing me , he had the nerve to call me his son. It made me want to

puke. Anyhow, he …he took his finger and ran it down right to my anus. Then he whispered again that

It wouldn`t hurt, but then he said, this was the only time he was going to go easy on me.

Alex, I had no idea what he was going to do, Then out came the petroleum jelly. He slicked it on his

finger and then on my anus. Once I had figured out what he was going to do I started to fidget.

He told me, not to fight him, but if I wanted it rough, he could give it to me rough. I guess, I decided

to relax. He lied to me, Told me that if I relaxed, it wouldn`t hurt. It hurt like hell. You know as well as I

do what he was doing. With each object that penetrated me, it felt bigger and bigger. He was

preparing me for my first experience with anal sex. That`s pretty damn sick Alex.

Then when he was done, he untied me and turned me arund on my bed.

He leaned into me and whispered for what I thought was going to be the last time

" Listen Son, Because of your little costly mistake tonight with your sister, you, you will

bear the brunt of it from now on. But know this. I did the prep work. Your payback comes when

I deem it is needed. You will never know when , where , or how. So just be ready…Son."

" That`s what he said to me. "

By now Bobby had his head down. Almost in his lap. The tears streaming at breakneck speed down

his stubbled cheeks. Alex too was crying . She looked up at him and saw that he didn`t want to

look at her. She knew what she had to do. She slowly wiped the tears from her own eyes, then

reached out and took his chin in her hands. She slowly lifted his head. He looked at her.

And without a second guess, she began giving him sweet butterfly kisses around his face

as if she was washing away his shame.

Bobby Gorens secret was pretty much out. He didn`t think that he could go on. But for now,

He and Alex needed a break from the intensely deep and involved story that he was no-where

near finished with.


	9. The Beginning of His Disclosure Part 2

**Sister**

_By_

_Lormesorlam_

_Chapter 9_

_The Beginning of his Disclosure Part 2_

_Disclaimer: The show Law and order Criminal Intent and it`s characters Robert Goren and Alex Eames and Lewis are not mine. I am writing this story for entertainment purposes only and not for profit. This story is not accepted canon for the show. It`s my original. Therefore Angela and other characters herein are my original creations. Read and enjoy. Please review. I would love to hear what you think. Sorry it has taken so long to update, My mother passed away four months ago. Jan. 17__th__ and I have been immersed in grief and closure. I am just now starting to come through some of the stages._

_Lori_

_On with the story_

_Sister_

_Chapter 9_

_The Beginning of his Disclosure Part 2_

_They took a small break. Not too long. Bobby knew he had to finish his disclosure. And he knew it was not going to be easy . Alex was spent. This was only the beginning of Bobbys secret and she could see and feel how tough it was going to be. She almost told him not to worry about finishing his story, but she knew how Bobby was. Once he started something, he had to see it through to the finish. So she knew she was there for the long haul. _

_Bobby was in the kitchen getting a much needed glass of ice water. Without asking his friend, he also filled a glass for her. When he returned from the kitchen, he saw her sitting on the couch. Her eyes not terribly red rimmed, but he knew she had been crying. _

" _Here. I brought this for you. " he said as he handed her the glass."_

" _Thanks Bobby. It`s just what I needed. " she replied._

_He looked over to her and said " Hey, maybe later, I`ll put on some coffee for you. This just might be an all nighter. Did you bring some nightclothes? " he asked._

" _Nope. " she said as she smiled. " Besides, I know you have some oversized shirts and sweats. I`ll be just fine in them…if I have to stay." _

_He smiled. As he strode over to the couch, he said quietly " Well, I guess, It`s back to my story. "_

_She nodded. Then spoke quietly " You know Bobby…"_

_He interrupted "Alex, I know what you are going to say. And I think you know my answer. I have to finish this. It`s not the greatest story ever told, but it is mine and it`s part of what makes me…well …me. "_

_She smiled and sat back waiting for him to continue._

" _Let`s see, Where was I ? " he asked. " Oh yeah, the… prep. He called me his son. He had the balls to call me his son after he did that to me Alex. I wished that night that I could have killed him. But none-the-less, he left me in my room and I was expected to go to sleep. I couldn`t do that. I was haunted that night. Night terrors. I don`t think I`ve slept real well since then."_

_Alex sat and listened. Then said " Bobby, I`m so sorry. " _

" _Well, he would terrorize us. Everyday. With Angel and I…Well, it was never known which one would be the victim. Mostly it was Angel. I would come home at night and Angel…I could hear her crying for hours. It got so that when I would knock on her door, she would not even answer. She was afraid. She told me not to come to her anymore because she didn`t want daddy to hurt me anymore because of her. That`s just crazy Alex. I couldn`t believe it. She was being molested and gangraped at the hands of our father and his friends and she was worried about me._

_Then one night, it had to be about 8 pm. It was a school night and dad had been out drinking as usual. But then I heard the door open up. I was with Angel and she told me to hurry and go into my room. I told her I would. I told her to pray. She said she always did. I went into my room and shut the door. It was pitiful. I was 8 years old and I listened to my fathers assault on her. She never said a word. Then I heard him yell at her. He said " What`s the matter Angela, Don`t you like this? " She wouldn`t answer him. Next thing I know, I heard a slap. He wanted her to answer him. I heard her. She said " Okay daddy, I like it. " He said " Damn right you do! Just like mommy." I couldn`t take it. I opened my door and ran into her room. He turned around and saw me and that was it. He told Angela to get dressed and go to sleep. Then he looked back at me. " What are ya lookin` at boy ?" he asked me. I said " Nothin ". He said " What did you just say? " _

_I told him again " Nothin " Then I told him that he was disgusting. I told him he had to stop what he was doing to Angel. He was so angry. He said that I had no authority there and that he would stop when he deemed it necessary. Then he told me to get to my room. I was 10…a big shot now. I turned and looked right at him and said " Why…so you can assault __me__ now! " He didn`t like that. He said " Just go to bed …and shut up! "_

" _I did as I was told but like I said, I never really slept well after his initial assault on me. Next thing I know, I hear him on the phone. Saying it was time and that he would see them shortly. I didn`t know what the hell he meant. But, about twenty minutes later, there was a loud knock on the front door. I was just heading off to sleep.I was woken up to dads voice and the sound of a few others. Footsteps on the stairs. I thought they were headed to Angels room, however, they continued and stopped right in front on my bedroom door. " _

_Bobby had to stop. He couldn`t continue. _

_Alex could only imagine where this was going. She didn`t want to know. She was already crying inwardly. _

_Bobby continued " Well, The door opened up and dad was standing in the doorway. He had this malevolent look in his eyes. " Well son," he said to me. " The time has come for payback." " Alex, I was petrified. I looked up at him with confusion in my eyes " Dad…? " That`s all I was able to say. He told me to shut up and listen. "I told you once that you should be ready because at anytime...When I deemed necessary, you would get yours." " It was clear. I knew what was coming. I begged him Alex. I begged him. Then he stepped inside my room. Only he wasn`t alone. There were three of his bar room buddies. He looked at them and told them that I was all theirs. Then proceeded to tell them they could do whatever they wanted and stay for however long they wanted to. I was ten years old and scared out of my wits. Rightfully so. He stepped out of the room…not before smiling at me, and then shut the door. Alex, for what seemed to be forever, those three perverts carried out the most vicious attack on me that I had in the two years that Angel and I were there. Every kind of perversion that you could imagine. I took it that night. But not without tears and screams." He continued "Every so often, dad would come in the room. Just to watch. He was the sickest of them all. Everytime I cried or screamed or even squirmed, he would tell them to do more. To be rougher with me. He told them I liked it that crazy is that ? "_

_Bobby had to stop because the disclosure was really starting to take it`s toll on him and he could see that it was getting to Alex. " Hey, let`s stop for a minute. I have to stop. You want me to put on some coffee ? " he asked Alex._

_She looked back at him. " Sure I`ld like that Bobby , But you know what I`ld like more ? " she said_

_Bobby smiled. " What ? " _

_She looked over at him with tears falling and said " I`ld like to go back with you …you know, back then, when you were ten….And I`ld love to abuse your father the way he did to you. How unfair is this Bobby ? How unfair that you and Angel had to endure two full years of this. Why Bobby ? Why some children and not others ? I don`t understand. Help me to understand. "_

_Bobby looked at Alex. She knew he did not have the answers she sought. But he knew she was right. How many times had he asked himself the very same question…questions ? _

_He looked over to Alex. " I hope you know that I really have no answers for you. I`ve asked myself the same questions many times. I just get headaches trying to come up with answers, you know. " Let`s go inside and get some coffee._

_I`ve got a lot more to cover. Besides, I think I might be getting you those oversized shirts and sweats. It`s getting kind of late. She looked at her friend and tried to conjure up a smile. He saw how hard it was for her. He saw her struggle and reached out towards her. As soon as he touched he shoulder he said " Come on Alex. It`s okay. " Tears began to fall from her cocoa pools. " Aw Bobby. You don`t know how difficult this is for me to hear this. "_

_Bobby looked intently and quickly said to her " Hey, if this is too much, I can stop. I really don`t want to hurt you. "_

_She cut him off " Bobby please don`t feel that you have to stop. This is your story. I`ll tell you what, it does clear a lot up. Sort of puts things into perspective you know? "_

_He bowed his head. " Yeah… I do. " was his quiet reply._

_He let go of her and back up from her _

" _Hey, let me get you that oversized shirt and sweats. Okay ? "_

" _Sure. " she said. A few minutes later he returned from his bedroom with a matching set of dark blue New York City police sweats and a pair of white socks. _

" _Here. Bathroom is down the hall. I`ll be here in the living room. Why don`t you change then we can continue. As he handed them to her, their hands brushed and for the both of them, the warm tingles returned. They both had warm smiles for each other. She started to walk past him when he called to her " Um…Alex…. " _

_She turned around " Bobby…? " _

_Electricity filled the air and without even flinching he moved into her space and placed his right hand up behind her neck and drew her face closer to his. They were eye to eye more or less. He leaned into her and drew her into a very soft kiss. Their lips brushed feather lightly against each others. And she did not resist. _

_As he drew away, he looked into her eyes, a single tearline falling down his cheek, " Thank you. Thank you for staying. Thank you for being here and not running away. " he said._

_Again all she could do was lightly wipe away his tearline with her thumb. " Bobby…You are the quintessential little boy. I know that might embarrass you a bit, but that is what I see before me. This has got to be the hardest thing you`ve ever done. It`s okay. I love the fact that you trust me enough to let me in on your secret. And trust me, this secret will go with me to my grave. And before you ask why, let me tell you why. Because true friendship and love depends on a higher level of trust Bobby. A level much like this. _

_He was inwardly crying. She could see it. The two friends had just transcended their friendship onto a higher level without really realizing it. But that would change soon enough. The realization. _

_As she drew away from him telling him that she would soon return to give him her undivided attention, he watched her as she sauntered down his hallway into his bathroom. All of the electricity that was there in his apartment a second ago was still there _

_and he was glad that it was. Alex Eames…his Alex was there and his heart was filled with a growing love for her. But, still, he was not finished with his story. He had to guard his heart because the worst of it was still left to come. His love was growing but his trust was still not quite solidified. As he went back into his living room, he passed a picture of Angel and him. He picked it up and once again he felt the warm rushing wind that he knew was her. And he just knew that she was trying to tell him once again that this was okay. _


	10. Getting Lewis to Help

"

Sister

By Lormesorlam

CHAPTER 10

Getting Lewis To Help

Disclaimer: The show Law and Order Criminal Intent and all of their characters do not belong to me. They are the sole creation of Dick Wolfe. I am writing this story for entertainment purposes only and not for profit. Read and enjoy.

Lori

Dedication

A bit late but I do wish to dedicate this story to my mother, Mary Anne . God rest her soul , who recently passed away on Jan. 17th. She was 68 years young. And had it not been for the 25 years of Diabetes and the short three month struggle with stage four Bone cancer, would still be here applauding her children and grandchildren, . Her voice is heard in the echoes of the wind, the serenity of a summers evening, the steady flow of the rain and the velocity of a hurricane.

She always had and always will have the heart of a storm chaser as seen in the theme of her ocean photographs. I love you forever Mom.

Sister

By Lormesorlam

CHAPTER 10

Getting Lewis To Help

Well, Alex soon finished in his bathroom. She emerged from there dressed comfortably in his NYPD sweats and oversized t-shirt. Her hair cascaded loosely around her shoulders. As she walked down the hallway, she entered his living room and saw him standing next to the big window that overlooked the city streets below. She didn`t want to barge in on what seemed to be a moment of intense thought, however it seemed as though right at the moment she entered the room, he knew and turned around.

"You look much better. " He said. She smiled. "I do? " She asked. Continuing she said " I guess I do. You got my coffee? " He looked over to her and said "I do. It`s there on the table. Just the way you like it light with lots of sugar." He said.

"Thanks Bobby." She said. Then the two moved in the direction of the sofa and sat back down respectively. She reached towards the table and picked up the cup in front of her. She brought it up to her lips and drew in the aroma of the coffee. It had a heavenly scent. Only Bobby knew how to make her coffee. It was always right. She took a sip and placed the cup back down on the table in front of her. As she nestled back into his sofa, she watched and waited for him to continue his and Angels tale of abuse at the hands of their father." Well, Here we go." He said. Alex looked over at him and told him to take his time. "We have all night now Bobby. "

"I know. Okay where was I? Oh, the first time I was gang raped at the hands of my fathers buddies. It was absolutely terrible Alex. Like I said, the sickest part of the whole thing was when my father would come in and egg his friends on. That night their torture went on for hours. I think it had to be close to four or five in the morning when it finally stopped. They asked him if he thought I had had enough. He laughed. Then he wanted to know if they made me bleed. They all laughed. They rolled me over on my own bed and showed him the twelve inch round bloodstain that had covered my sheets to prove their violence. My dad joined in their laughter and came up to me. I was just about passed out, but he grabbed me by the hair and brought my face to his and asked me if I liked it. I couldn`t answer him. Then he asked me again. All I heard him saying was "Answer me boy! Did you like it?" I knew better than to say no, so I looked at him through tear stained eyes and a cracked lip, plus a bleeding butt. I told him yes. I told him I did. Any other answer, I guess it would have meant more torture. He looked sadistically satiated then he told his friends that he thought they did a great job. Before they left it looked to me as if he was paying them. You heard right. My father that night, had started to pimp out his son. And Angel was next in line. Unbeknownst to me, she was already being used. I swear Alex, if I could have, I would have, killed him that is. I just couldn`t. He was always too big and there was never a night thereafter when there wasn`t less than three people there. Angel and I were screwed pretty much from that night on. And when dad would go out to work, he would lock us in the house. It got so that people wouldn`t even come to the house for us. Even Lewis and his family. It seemed like we had disappeared off the face of the planet. Lewis never came by. For the next year and a half Angel and I endured the most excruciating abuse I`ld ever seen or heard of. Then one day when dad was at work, I heard Angel crying. She kept saying that she would never escape. I went into her room and told her if it was the last thing I ever did, I would see to it that we would get out. She cried harder. I told her that even if I had to die trying, I would see to it that this abuse would stop. She begged me not to Alex. But I could not take it anymore. She was my Angel and I had to protect her. Now I was nine and she was seven. So one morning when dad left to go to work, I got on the phone and called Lewis. His mom picked up. I was scared. Before she hung up I asked for Lewis. She knew it was me. She called my name quietly. I answered her and she sounded as if she was going to start to cry. " Is this little Bobby Goren ? " she asked. I said yes it is. She told me that she thought that I had moved or something. I said no but I told her that she needed to come to our house right away. There were bad things going on. She told me that she would be over right away. She didn`t even think Alex. Like a real mom. Like I had always tried to be….you know…a big brother with my Angel. Lewis mom…well, she was like my protector. Our protector. I told her to bring something to break the windows with because dad made sure that we couldn`t get out and no-one could get in. A few minutes later, I heard sounds coming up our driveway. I didn`t dare open up the door. It could be dad. What the hell kind of crap could that bring? So I grabbed Angel and told her that no matter what happened, everything ended that night. She understood. We sat together in my bedroom and held onto each other. It seemed to me that it went on forever. Angel and I, we huddled close. I told her to close her eyes. I didn`t want her to see especially if it was our dad. I still remember it as if it was yesterday. She nestled her face in the crook of my neck and cried…sobbed is more like it. She kept calling for me. Brother…brother….I had to hold it together. It got so bad that I had lost my ability to hear. I heard absolutely nothing except her cries. I tried to comfort her. She had such a hold on me that she left a scar on the small of my back. A small price to pay in leiu of what was going on. With everything going on, I could`nt concentrate…she was crying. Next thing I know, I don`t know how, but Lewis mom and dad were there. Angel went crazy. She would not let go of me. Someone touched her and tried to get her to go with them and she just …well…you know…Screams like that you just don`t forget. "

Bobby looked pitiful. The tears had been streaming down his cheeks. But even amidst those tears, he remained stoic. A tribute to his character. Amazing for what he had been through. " Alex. You now are the only other person who will share this ever in my lifetime. Besides Lewis and his mom and dad."

" Hey Bobby…Come on… Lets take a break. You need it. " Alex said.

Bobby didn`t know what to do. " Alex, I don`t know if I can do this. It`s getting harder to go on. "

" Okay. " she said "Maybe you should call Lewis. Would you feel better if he were here? " she asked

Bobby thought for a minute. Maybe she was right. And Lewis did say that he would be there if he needed him. Crap, it was definitely too late. Already one thirty in the am. He could`nt ask Lewis to come out now.

Alex looked over at him. " Come on…I see the wheels in your brain turning. Thinking it`s too late. You know Lewis would do anything for you." She said to him smiling.

Not that Bobby was amazed. He knew if anyone knew him well, it would be Alex. Besides Lewis and his family and his mom, she was the only other person that seemed to know him well.

" You know me too well." He said as he reached out and took the tissue she was handing him. Thanks. Maybe I will give Lewis a call. "

Alex smiled back at him and watched as he disappeared into his bedroom. She watched the door shut and went into the kitchen to put on a fresh pot of coffee.

Meanwhile back in Bobbys bedroom, he sat with a big sigh at the edge of the bed and slowly flipped open his phone. He navigated through his contacts and found Lewis. He thought about it for a minute before pushing down on the button and then like that, he pushed down and went past the point of no return. He heard the line ringing on the other end. Soon there was a quiet voice on the other end.

" Bobby ? " it said

" Lewis. I woke you right ? " he asked..

" Nope. Just up thinking about you and detective Alex. How`s things going? " he asked. Bobby stayed silent for a minute. Lewis went to ask Bobby something and he spoke first.

" Well…I could tell you okay, But that would be lying. So no, they are not going okay. At first everything was okay. But now, I`m trying to get past the night your mom and dad got us out of the house.

I can`t do it. "

Lewis asked right away " You need me to come out and …you know…Just kind of be there…?"

Bobby answered quietly. " Look, I know you are always there. But…I also know it`s late. So… you think you could? "

Lewis didn`t even blink. " Brother, I`ll be right over. And don`t start without me…Oh and put on some…

Bobby interrupted " She`s already started a new pot of coffee okay? "

" You`re the greatest man…The greatest. See ya in a few. "

Bobby heard the phone hang up and smiled. Then went out to tell Alex the good news. Much to his surprise, She had already set up in the kitchen for three. Three coffee cups with spoons and sugar.

Bobby looked down at his feet. Then looked up again. " You and Lewis, I don`t know what I would do without you.


End file.
